It’s the day before my favorite holiday, and most bloggers are probably “scrambling” to finish their Thanksgiving Blog. Seeing how my last few posts talk about all I that have to be thankful for (Career, Family, Namesake, Health, etc) – I’ve decided to go in another direction and tell you a story…
It’s almost a year now since I started my Private Facebook Group
Grass Clippings by Howard Grass, and I really am not even sure where the idea came from. I knew Social Media had "arrived", but Facebook was really not "my thing". I guess I'm just too private of a person, and still prefer the phone if I really care to interact with someone. I use a ton of email in communicating with my stores (although email is often overused in areas where a phone call is a better medium), and anyone who knows me knows how often I still use "snail mail" - whether it's a Newsletter, a Thank You Card, or a Holiday Greeting.
But Facebook is here to stay, and it may have been my friend Laura (when we were brainstorming about my new website) who mentioned that there was such a thing as a "Private Facebook Group", and that it might help supplement my newsletter
Grass Clippings to stay in touch with my stores. And so
Grass Clippings by Howard Grass on Facebook was born.
I have to admit that I envisioned the group as a kind of business self-promotion, but it really has morphed into something beyond that. Since only bridal and social occasion storeowners are allowed to join, it has really ended up more as a "safe haven" for stores to connect with one another. I rarely post anything about my lines, but do occasionally "share" something newsworthy to our industry - or something interesting to me that relates to business in general.
Formalwear storeowners have so much in common, and since it is such a unique subset of the world of retail, their problems and concerns are unique. I love it when someone starts a thread on a particular problem they've encountered, and then see 20 - 30 comments from other stores who "chime in". Sometimes its a great idea on how to handle a specific situation, and sometimes its just an "aha moment" when people get to laugh at the brides (or even at themselves) on what it takes to run a bridal store. My sense is that a camaraderie has developed between the group members who have become quite friendly, despite having never really "met". My decision to not allow other sales reps or owners from other companies to join does seem to make people feel "safe" about speaking their mind.
But something happened early this season that was totally unexpected, and it is what leads me to my story. Without getting too specific (you should join the group and read the whole thread - its worth the price of admission)… Kay - a woman who owned a store in my territory and whom I am very fond of had something tragic happen to her; and I ended up being involved in her life for a short period of time. She lost her husband suddenly and totally unexpectedly, to a massive heart attack while they were on a business trip together. She has 2 young children and decided that she needed to stop being a bridal storeowner, either by selling the store (her preference) or by closing it if she couldn't find a buyer. Now anyone who has ever “wanted out” knows how difficult it is to sell a store in this business climate, and the chance that she would both find someone interested AND have the financial means to purchase her store were slim at best. Especially since she wanted to get out so quickly so that she could begin the next phase of her life, which was putting her family "back together" and beginning to heal.
This story does have a "happy" ending (although Kay may question my use of the word "happy"). Kay was one of the first members of the group, and initially she used it as a place where she felt "safe" in talking about her grief. The outpouring of support and compassion she received from so many group members warmed my heart; she got tons of advise on selling the store right in the forum, and my take was there were many additional private messages, texts, and phone call behind the scenes as well; both with advice on areas of concern in the transaction, as well as some phone calls "just calling to see how you are holding up".
I'm happy to say that Kay posted in the forum last Wednesday evening announcing that she had found a buyer, had closed on the sale that afternoon, and was no longer a bridal store owner, which although bittersweet was what she felt was best for her family. She is a very good writer (many artistic people are), and her posts were touching. I am including an excerpt of the posts below, and encourage you to read the whole thread on Facebook. She thanked everyone in the group for their help and support, and wished everyone in the group "all the best". There were many subsequent follow-ups to her post with heartfelt warm wishes from other group members, and they brought a tear to the eye of this group moderator. Partly for the sadness that Kay still has to deal with, but equally for the sheer outpouring of humanity that "my" group showed throughout Kay's ordeal.
And lets face it.... read the papers any day of the week and its pretty obvious that the world could use a little outpouring of humanity. So I want to publicly thank my group members for what they did for Kay. Some members post more than others and that is fine. As administrator of the group I do "see" how many people actually followed Kay's story by either reading it or posting to it, and it became the most "followed" story all year. The group is only as good as its members. They made a real difference in the life of a friend, and they should all be very proud of themselves. I certainly am proud of them, and of the little “family” that has blossomed here.
So in closing, I want to extend an invitation to all of the stores out there who are not yet members of the group to please join. Click
here to send me a short message, and I will email you a link to join. I assure you it will be both informative and entertaining. And to Kay from all of the members of
Grass Clippings… “We wish you all the best in the next chapter in your life, and hope that you keep in touch and let us know how you are doing”.
Peace, love, and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
HG
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Kay Bigelow Kirkland
November 19th at 7:30 PMAs of 4:15 today, I no longer own The Paisley Bride. I had settlement & then had a good cry. This marks just another thing gone from my life since the very sudden and unexpected death of my husband, Dwight.
Not sure if I should be happy or sad, but I will say that I am grateful to have sold my business instead of the nightmare of trying to close it. But still, it was hard to walk away from all that I have worked so hard for.
I want to publicly thank Howard Grass…. He and I go back a long, long way. His professionalism goes without saying. More importantly, his kindness is above measure.
Dwight and I were at market and spoke with Howard mere hours before his passing. Howard has been in constant contact since..not just as my rep, but as my friend. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.
So to all of my colleagues out there, both known and in cyber land, I wish you all the best.
Thanks,
Kay Kirkland
The Paisley Bride
Kay Bigelow Kirkland Thank you all. This has been one of the hardest things I've ever been through. My heart is broken and life is so very different. Just trying to find my way. It helps to know people care. What a wonderful group you are
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